Please consider my doctoral application. I will bring many strengths to the department, especially
a rapacious narrative hunger general badassery $30,000 worth of student loan debt a curious and well-rounded intellect, shaped by years of real-life experience as well as theory. One time I had sex with Noel Coward‘s great-granddaughter. While I haven’t earned any university-level Women’s Studies credits, I’ve read enough feminist theory to fake my way through a University of Toronto Women’s Studies party where I made out with two women in the backyard know that I’m ready to begin graduate studies. I love women! and vaginas! I have lived as an out lesbian in a midsize Arizona city; a small California town; a South Carolina suburb; and a Canadian metropolis. I’ve traveled to Eastern and Western Europe, Asia, and Africa, where I discovered more and more about women’s lives around the world. I’ve worked as a writer, a teacher, a nanny, a nightclub bouncer, a boutique manager, where I sold the bejesus out of tiny purses shaped like dachsund heads a Pillow Fight League referee, and a hospice worker. I applied for a job at a “queer-friendly” sex store but didn’t get it because I blanched when they told me to say “front hole” instead of “vagina” when selling dildos to transmen.
While I do not have the traditional academic background of most Ph.D. candidates, I can think creatively and critically;
string together go all Gollum on land the mothership of funk write a coherent sentence; and commit full-time to the program. I’m cool with another $30,000 in student loan debt; what are they going to do, execute me if I default? I hope to contribute something substantive and lasting to women’s lives and to the great tradition of feminist scholarship. My areas of interest include women and weight training; feminist pedagogy at the secondary level; and the significance of online feminist communities. Please please please,