Two Things I Said In Class Today That May Result In Parental Phone Calls

  • “Butch up, Sally!” (to a football player whining about a 1-page creative writing assignment).
  • “What’s Purgatory? It’s God’s waiting room, like the Department of Motor Vehicles. Not heaven, not hell. You just have to wait there, bored, ’til they call your number.”

It’s like doing theatre: I have to get their attention, which is fully absorbed by iPhones and Blackberries; status updates and tweets; Jersey Shore and thumb-summoned pornography.* They’re too young to know how much trouble they’re in if they don’t finish high school, so part of my job is to know it for them. To require them to do things that make no sense to them; that they truly believe are useless. I am a modern-day scholastic Cassandra, whose curse is to speak the truth and be thought insane.

In semi-unrelated news:

  • I asked the GSA kids to count how many times they heard “That’s so gay,” “You homo,” “He’s such a fag,” etc., in the halls from last Monday to this. The number? 178. And that’s because a bunch of them forgot to keep a tally.
  • I’ve fallen in love with ‘Friday Night Lights.” At first, I thought  it was a dude’s show — the women seemed to have nothing but supporting roles — but I was wrong.  More on this later, even though I’m a way-late adopter.
  • I’m trying to write about a traumatic relationship, but doing so has a re-traumatizing effect. I’m a Vietnam vet and she’s a helicopter. Any suggestions from my fellow writers?
*There must be some kind of Sphynx cat/mainstream porn crossover; I don’t know, but the number of searchers finding me via “hairless p*ssy”…well, it’s disturbing. Few stay long enough to grok the irony; then again, few could identify “irony” if it crawled out of their navels and said howdy.
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8 thoughts on “Two Things I Said In Class Today That May Result In Parental Phone Calls

  1. They’re too young to know how much trouble they’re in if they don’t finish high school, so part of my job is to know it for them.

    Haven’t you heard? Informed intelligent people are out. Stupidity and ignorance reign supreme as we plunge headlong back into the dark ages.

  2. Honjii, I hear ya. It is terrifying — a whole generation of young people who don’t care to know anything more than what they’ll need to work at McWalCorp. I have some shining stars, though, and their resilience and determination is what keeps me coming back.

  3. It’s not just young people. Remember a guy named George W. Bush; and have you heard the stupidity that comes out of the mouths of what we are now calling our leaders and politicians? That terrifies me more than anything.

  4. If writing about a trauma causes you to feel traumatized

    I think that seeking out trauma counseling would be what you should do – to deal with the trauma you’re carrying around

    perhaps art therapy could help in writing about it.

    otherwise, you need to write about in a way or context that doesn’t trigger your trauma

    you need to understand and pay attention to your body to be able to manage the trauma impact

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